REFLECTIONS 1

I glanced into the mirror and saw the look on his face. One of pure wonder mixed with disbelief. My face twitched at the obvious reproof I read in his tight lips.

“What is it this time?”

He shrugged and looked away.

“I’m talking to you and I won’t stop until I get an answer.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“The truth.”

“There’s no point since your mind is already made up.”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

He smiled. “We both know I know you as much as you know you.”

“Then you should know I might consider your opinion if you present a good argument.”

“I’m not about to have an argument with you. There is nothing as frustrating as trying to prove you wrong.”

“Then don’t try to prove me wrong. Tell me what you think is right. Tell me the truth.”

“You already know my opinion on this Sesan. I don’t think you always have to take two or more servings whenever you eat.”

Heat rose up my face at the frankness in his tone. What I decide to do with my stomach is nobody’s business but mine.

“Lilian is not complaining so I don’t think my eating habit is a problem.”

His lips clamped shut and he nodded in the ‘I knew you were not going to listen’ way I was used to seeing.

“Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I don’t see why you should be concerned about the amount of food I eat when Lilian is fine with it. She would be surprised if I eat and don’t ask for more.”

He nodded, but this time, in resignation.

“Why are you making me feel bad when I’ve done nothing wrong?”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad Sesan. I’m only trying to keep my opinion to myself since it’s not welcomed.”

My eyes flashed. “Who told you it’s not welcomed.”

“You did. Not in many words but you surely did.”

“We’ve had this kind of conversation in the past and you’ve always won. But what you’re asking for this time is too much. I don’t joke with my stomach.”

“And that is more reason I want you to pay attention to it.”

A weight lodged in my chest and nothing I did could displace it. Why must he try to make things hard for me? Could he not leave things the way they were?

“Sesan.”

“Yes.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine … No, I’m not fine.” My lips quivered.

His eyes grew wide. “Are you going to cry?”

My lips turned up in a smirk as I returned his gaze. “No.”

He smiled. “You looked like you were about to cry.”

Maybe I was.

“Can we just talk about something else?” I asked.

“No.”

“What do you gain from this?”

“Nothing that won’t benefit you.”

“Why exactly are you doing this?”

He smiled. “Kindly do something for me.”

My brows shot up in alarm but he went on anyway.

“Close your eyes.”

I did.

“Imagine yourself sitting at a banquet. A plate containing your favourite dish is currently being placed in front of you and the aroma is literally swirling through your nose.”

My stomach grumbled in response.

“Now, I want you to see another plate being passed to you. This plate contains delicacies you’ve never seen before. And the smell is even more tantalizing than that of your favourite dish.”

I smiled as I saw what he described in my imagination. My mouth watered as I inhaled the fragrance of the food.

“Now open your eyes.”

“I want to stay here for some time.”

"Sesan."

My eyes flew open. “Don’t raise your voice. I don’t want Lilian thinking I’ve gone crazy. I can hear you perfectly well without you having to raise your voice.”

“I’m sorry. You really didn’t have to get defensive.”

“Who told you I was defensive?”

He smiled in the knowing way I was also used to. “I only wanted you to come to your senses.”

“I’m here now. Although, I’m already feeling hungry.”

He shook his head. “What do I do with you?”

“Are you asking me?”

“No. I’m asking me.”

My eyes widened. “How am I supposed to know then?”

He groaned. “Can’t you understand what I’ve been trying to say?”

“Except from the obvious fact that you’re jealous of my eating capacities, I’m not getting your point.”

He glared at me and I knew I would have struck me if I were him. “To start with, I’m not jealous of your eating capacities. Secondly, I’m talking to you about this because whatever controls a man owns the man. If you’re not careful, your stomach will be what directs your every step.”

I paused as his words struck me hard. He must have sensed my struggle because he said “I’m not saying you should not eat. I’m not even trying to give you a set of dos and don’ts. I’m only telling you to control your body and not the other way round.”

“But I can’t. It’s a habit I’ve developed over time and I’m used to it.”

“Yes you can. It’s your body and you decide what happens to it. You make the decision and not the other way round.”

“We both know I like eating.”

“So do I. It becomes a problem when you stuff your body with more junk than it can handle.”

I blew out a breath. “Okay. Thanks. Can I brush my teeth now?”

He laughed. “I didn’t stop you from doing that.”

“No you didn’t. Your gaze did.”

“Lilian is here.” He whispered.

I swirled round to see Lilian open the bathroom door at that same moment.

“Hey.” I said breathlessly.

She looked around the bathroom and when her gaze settled on me, it was filled with suspicion.

“Who were you talking to Sesan?”

I groaned inwardly. I told him not to raise his voice and he did. I paused. Lilian probably didn’t hear his voice. She heard mine.

“Sesan I asked you a question.”

“Urh … I was talking to myself.”

THE END.

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